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My new roommate’s got a girl with him tonight
Always late on the rental
Couldn’t buy a bag of farts
This ain’t no B& B all the food you ate
If you want to get it shipped man you know you gotta pay the freight
Just say goodnight don’t wanna listen to you now
By the way, you know, just go with her, go on, get out
My new roommate’s got him a green thumb
Queer fluorescent lighting and an 8-foot bong
Jesus Dread cranked, neighbor called in a complaint
Now we all gotta go to jail
And I don’t care I got cold feet
My new roommate’s quiet he keeps to himself
Been in the can for hours and I can’t smell a thing
What did you do spill a box of wine in my bathtub?
C’mon let’s get you to the ER let’s get you sewn up
My new roommate’s lesbian, she’s the best yet
Lay some rug down on my hardwood floor
I say for Halloween you be Joan, I’ll be a torch
She got no sense of humor she spit chaw-juice in mine eye
My new roommate wakes us up at dawn
Hides my remote
Say outside where you’s gonna smoke
Always bumming rides I went from beer to sour mash
That son of a bitch owns the place
I take out the trash
Heavy Ornamentals [2006]
New Roomate